Courage Through Perseverance

Fear is a powerful thing. Being a kid, I was terrified of going downstairs into my basement. It's where we did laundry so you had to eventually go down there. In the basement itself there are two other rooms that are completely dark so you can't see in but someone could see out. It would always freak me out and my imagination would get the best of me. As I get older I lose the childhood fears and adopt adulthood fears. Now I'm no longer scared to go down there and do my laundry but sometimes I'll think what if I fall down the narrow steps and break my back? I'll have to go to the hospital and pay all these medical bills which will just add stress in the end.

Behind the fear is really the stress that cripples me. I constantly try to please everyone around me and worry about myself last. That can be very bad for my own mental health because you can't help anybody if you can't help yourself. If something is really getting at me I try to just sit in my room with either some relaxing music or even nothing at all and just breath. I breath in, count to four, then breath out. When I heard of it I thought it sounded to simple and stupid but not everything needs to be complicated to work. Taking that time to just focus on breathing really relaxes and puts me at ease.

I somewhat miss the simple fears. It's nice to not panic when I see the darkness but really I think you just get over the little stuff and worry about the big things. What helps is to turn that fear into a challenge. I am my own worst enemy. I say all the time that I can't do something before I even try it because I don't have the confidence. Thinking back now, it's scarier to wonder all the things I've missed out on because I was too scared. I hope to not hold myself back and let myself live.

Don't Let it Win

I feel you pushing me down

paralyzing, crippling

I feel bound

But I'm back at it

and I'm not throwing in the towel.

So sit back and relax

and save you vowels.

Actually why should you be at ease

after terrorizing me

Making me lose sleep

making me look deep

In myself

my own wealth

put simply

It's you turn

I need my rest

I've been in this battle for too long

I'm sick of this song.

So I won't waste any more breath

but this...

you will not be my death.