All these images help give an idea of my brain one way or another. I'm very excited for what the future has in store for us. The possibilities of where technology and medicine can one day go is astounding and I only hope I can see some incredible inventions in my life time. Music is a huge part of me and I like to sit down and just listen to the the instruments. I want to one day live comfortably with enough money to get by and be with someone I love, you can't really ask for anything better than that. I want my creativity and writing to become really strong and help me obtain a very good career.
What I Want For Me
What I want for me
is to be alive
What I want for me
is to listen to the trees
breathing life to us all
To be like the trees,
helping others get by
while I stand tall
I want the respect of others
the love of another
The time it takes for a phone call
a Sunday afternoon
and the smell of fall
I want to swim with the birds
and fly with the fish
I want to go against the grain
TO NOT DIE IN VAIN
I want to live like the trees
knowing what they must do
I want to live like the trees
to help others breathing
to help others hide from the sun
What I want for me
is to live.
James,
ReplyDeleteOne of your strongest poems yet. It's really good. I like the tree imagery that you capture throughout... helping others... flying with fish... it's all great. This is one of the most creative/fun you've had with a poem in a bit. I like how you're stretching out and allowing yourself to wander with the words and the meaning.
Then, you stick cool lines out like swollen thumbs:
The time it takes for a phone call
That line, and it's counterparts are like little commercial breaks in your poem. In a good way. They offer a pause. A thought. The reader almost hears the phone ringing, interrupting the poem - creating this very cool pause. A moment. Just one line.
Excellent.
As for you journal... I think you picked great images. Specific images. But then your journal blurs into generalities. You don't even mention London, though you have pictures of it. Be sure to be as specific as possible. You want money, girl, etc. Start to envision how that will really look. It may seem silly, but start to create a vision. Does she have brown hair or blonde? Will you live in London for a while or just vacation?
Use a sharper-tipped brush to paint your painting. Maybe even add detail with a paint marker or pen. Sharpen it.
GR: 90